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Curse of the cookie

[ 3 ] February 3, 2012 |


By Faith L. Wylie

February brings numerous threats.

Television time is sucked up by that mangy Punxsutawney Phil and his pretentious top-hatted handlers.

Weather forecasters bring chills with every storm prediction.

Sportscasters warn that the future of humankind hangs in the balance during a clash of overpaid athletes in an overblown event known as the Superbowl.

No threat is greater, though, than the insidious invasion of the Girl Scout cookie.

The holidays are over. Leftover candies and sweets have all been consumed. The pounds have been packed onto the hips and thighs. Resolutions have been made.

And then some evil purveyor of calories disguised as a cute little girl arrives with her Girl Scout cookies.

Resolve weakens. Just one box from one little girl.

Get a whiff of those Do-Si-Dos … peanut butter and oatmeal. Surely peanut butter and oatmeal are acceptable. Just think of all that protein and fiber. Those benefits outweigh a few minor calories from sugar and fat. Besides, it’s only $4

Perhaps it would be okay to buy just one box from each little girl.

Trefoils are innocent. A trefoil cookie is only 32 calories. That’s not even worth counting … unless a person eats 10 of them.

These girls need our support. We should buy one box of each flavor from each little girl.

After all, Samoas and Tagalongs are pretty tasty. And the money goes to a very worthy cause.

Just stay away from Thin Mints. Thin Mints. Dark chocolate… not too sweet … almost bitter. Isn’t dark chocolate supposed to be healthy?

And a little hint of mint. Restaurants give out peppermints after a meal because a peppermint will settle a stomach and freshen one’s breath. More benefits.

Resolve collapses. Buy two boxes of Thin Mints from each little girl, one to eat now and one to put in the freezer.

But eating frozen cookies could break a tooth. Skip the freezer and eat both boxes now.

In the bad old days, we had to wait for our cookies. No more! The little girls arrive with boxes of cookies in hand.

No cute little Girl Scout on your doorstep? There’s an app for that … the Cookie Locator APP. Just punch your zip code into your smart phone and it will show you the location of the nearest cookie booth.

Hate cute little girls? Now, buying Girl Scout cookies has gone high-tech. Just go online at

Cookie sales start Feb. 11, but we get a preview here at the Leader. The press release arrives accompanied by a box of each flavor.

I figure the cookie chair brings them early so that we’ve snarfed down all the cookies by the time the girls come back to sell us cookies.

We started with six boxes. There were only two. I hid them from myself. And from my coworker Carolyn, who is too short to see in the cabinet above the microwave. I, however, could see them. I gave in this weekend and ate half a box of Thin Mints.

Boy, did I get scolded for eating the Thin Mints without sharing.

Buy three boxes of Thin Mints from the next cute little girl. Give one to Carolyn. Eat two.

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Category: Opinion

Comments (3)

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  1. Randy Sweet says:

    Faith, I was born and raised in Talala,Oklahoma and read the Lake Leader very proudly until now.
    I now live in Pennsylvania.
    Your remarks concerning Punxsutawney Phil were out of character. When I lived in Oklahoma, we were taught “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” And those fellows in the top hats aren’t his ‘handlers’, they are the Inner Circle — known for their philanthropic act throughout the year.
    You can do better.

    • Leader says:

      Too funny! Perhaps it is an insult to put old Phil and his inner circle in the same category as weathermen, the Superbowl, sportscasters, Girl Scouts and Thin Mints.

  2. Kimberly Gentry says:

    Thank you for this article. Yes the cookies are hard to resist but buying them helps these young ladies accomplish great things. My daughter looks forward to selling cookies and helping to make a difference. Have you tried a Tag-A-Long smoothie? Yum! Thanks for supporting these girls.